Joke Thread

[hemelhoop]

My grandad said to me yesterday. "I've never liked that nignog who plays for Liverpool."
I said "You mean Ngog" He said "No Glen Johnson".

[E4 Rangers]

4 Jamacans were sitting round a campfire near the beach.They were all philosophizing on what the fastest thing in the world was. Seymour said "i tink de fasses ting is thought because b4 u can tink it it already thought" Winston said "nah man da fasses ting is blink cos b4 u tink to blink u dun blink already" Delroy says "no man tha fasses ting is helectricity becos when u turn on de light it travel fass and de lite come on" leroy say "nah man de fasses ting is diarrhoea" 'diarrhoea" they all say. "Yes cos last nite b4 i could tink, blink or switch de lite on me sh*t meself"

[northampton rs]

4 Jamacans were sitting round a campfire near the beach.They were all philosophizing on what the fastest thing in the world was. Seymour said "i tink de fasses ting is thought because b4 u can tink it it already thought" Winston said "nah man da fasses ting is blink cos b4 u tink to blink u dun blink already" Delroy says "no man tha fasses ting is helectricity becos when u turn on de light it travel fass and de lite come on" leroy say "nah man de fasses ting is diarrhoea" 'diarrhoea" they all say. "Yes cos last nite b4 i could tink, blink or switch de lite on me sh*t meself"

[qpr93]

anyone got any good jokes?

hi im carlos tevez and this is my lean mean fat reducing grilling machine im so proud of it I put my face on it.

Torres has just broken David Blaine's record of having spent forty days in a box doing **** all.

Ceasefire in Libya, as the UN have sent in Fernando Torres - No shots reported so far

The jokes about Torres are just getting out of hand now, even Ji-Sung Park is getting in on the act by scoring with his eyes closed - cheeky *******.


you know any?

[qprted]

yeah

yeah the best joke around at the minute is the chelsea fans

[acricketer]

http://www.wearetherangersboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=95223

[Bigdave]

hi im carlos tevez and this is my lean mean fat reducing grilling machine im so proud of it I put my face on it.

Torres has just broken David Blaine's record of having spent forty days in a box doing **** all.

Ceasefire in Libya, as the UN have sent in Fernando Torres - No shots reported so far

The jokes about Torres are just getting out of hand now, even Ji-Sung Park is getting in on the act by scoring with his eyes closed - cheeky *******.

you know any?

Quality

[LoftusRoadLad]

Two flys landed on a lump of turd..one says "hello mate long time no see, where ya been ?"......"been on the sick"

[LoftusRoadLad]

Got fired today as a masseuse, read the instructions wrong, apparently "finishing off on her face" was not what i thought it was !

[hermitage10]

Got fired today as a masseuse, read the instructions wrong, apparently "finishing off on her face" was not what i thought it was !

[Connell10]

Im glad i started this thread very funny! keep em coming!

[Juan]

q. What is the smallest pub in the world?

a. The Thalidomide Arms

[brightonr]

A lot of people think I'm paranoid.

[uxbridgeranger]

A Norwich fan goes to the doctors for a regular check up. The doctor asks how he's feeling.
"I'm a bit sore around the penis area," replies the dirty Norwich fan.
"How many sexual partners have you had then?" asks the doctor.
"Well," he replies, "there's my sister, auntie, mum, daughter, cousin, grandma and my other auntie - so that's 7. And what's even better is that I can count them all on one hand!"

[uxbridgeranger]

I met two girls down the pub last night who had strong Cardiff accents.
I said, "I know that accent. You two ladies are from Scotland, aren't you?"
"Wales, you ****ing idiot," one of them replied.
"Sorry," I said, "You two whales are from Scotland, aren't you?"