Where's Matty?

[Hitman34]

would love to see him eat his own head

[Factamondo]

would love to see him eat his own head

poached or fried??

[Hitman34]

got to be poached mate!

[Buffalo]

He's found a particularly interesting webcam feed and can't tear himself away.....

[Kirill]

...praised us to the hilt!

I see this expression backfiring spectacularly when he comes back and twists it in his usual masterful manner.

[Kirill]

...unless Kirill takes an interest in you!

You talkinga to me?! Talkinga to me?!?!

[Hoop-du-Jour]

He was busy stretching Taarbs' shirt.

[QPRDave]

You talkinga to me?! Talkinga to me?!?!

No i donna wanna sleepa with the fishes...

[MYU]

He was protesting because he wanted McDonald's and Burger King meals as prizes.

[NW_Hoopz]

I texted him earlier to say I'd start a thread to get him back, but you beat me to it, I vote for eating the router by the way, you can just imagine it falling into the KFC boneless banquet and whoosh it's gone !

[HoopsMark1960]

I texted him earlier to say I'd start a thread to get him back, but you beat me to it, I vote for eating the router by the way, you can just imagine it falling into the KFC boneless banquet and whoosh it's gone !

Only till it comes out other end....oohh painful (or maybe not in Mattys case!?)

[Ricky]

He'll be back on later. He asked me to deactivate his account last week but now wants to come back, and before anyone starts it was nothing to do with the moderation, in fact he praised us to the hilt!

This might be the saddest story I have ever heard