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Two men are fishing on a river bank in a remote area of the River Thames on a Saturday afternoon miles away from any radio or tv.
Suddenly one man turns to the other and says "The Gunners have lost again."
The other man was flabbergasted and said "how in the name of god do you know that?"
The other man replied "It's quarter to five."
Why do people take an instant dislike to Arsenal?
It saves time.Comment
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the only way i could get a ticket for the game was to go with my boss in the gooner end.I will report back as to how they react in the stand when i cheer when we scoreComment
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If were half a patch on the schalke supporters last night were be alright.I'm watching in me local with some of ours and gooners.there be alot of rangers in the home ends so I'm told.Ooh northern lads love gravyComment
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Sorry cant leave the scum and scum utd out of this
A man and his son were at the breakfast table when the father spots something in the paper.
“Van Gough sold for £8 million”, he says shaking his head.
“Is he worth it dad?”
Impressed that his boy is taking an interest in fine art, the father says, “I suppose so son. Why do you ask?”
“Well it’s just that Mourinho paid more than that for Andrei Shevchenko – and he’s ****”!
Snow White, Silvester Stallon and Osama Bin Laden are having a conversation.
Snow White says “Everybody tells me I am the most beautiful, divine woman that any man has ever laid his eyes on, but how do I know?”
Stallon says “I know what you mean. Everybody tells me I am the most muscular, hunky man that has ever lived, but how do I know?”
Bin Laden says “Yes. Everybody tells me I am the most disgusting, despicable, grotesque creature that has ever roamed the earth, but how do I know?”
Snow White says “Let’s go and see the wise man!” So off they go.
Snow White goes in first and five minutes later she comes out and says: “It’s true. I am the most beautiful, divine woman that any man has ever laid his eyes on.”
Stallon goes in and five minutes later he comes out and says: “It’s true. I am the most muscular, hunky man that has ever lived.”
Osama goes in and five minutes later he comes out and says: “Who’s the fu*k is this John Terry character then?“
Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.
Q. What do you call a Manchester United fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.
Q: What's the difference between a Man-U fan and a Vibrator?
A: A Man U fan is a real ****Comment
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"Imagine a relationship that went wrong but you held on in there for years: that's what it is like supporting a football team. Your loyalty to a team can never die. Ties are stronger than they could ever be with a woman. If she goes and sleeps with your best mate, it's over. If the Rs' boss, Ian Holloway, slept with my best mate, QPR would still be my team. Even if many of the things that you loved about going to matches have gone - terraces, team shirts without sponsors and being able to smoke at grounds - you still stick with your team." - Peter Doherty.Comment
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