news of the world today

[rmj1982]

page 76 good read but still ****s me off sorry cant get link up.

[W12_Ranger]

For all of us who don't bother reading the NOTW, do you think you might want to give us a little more insight...

[JonDoeman]

Saint Warnock faces battle to survive QPR madness

Neil and pray... Warnock faces a tough season ahead with QPR's current owners Neil and pray... Warnock faces a tough season ahead with QPR's current owners

WHEN Mohamed Al Fayed tugged the drapes from a statue of Michael Jackson in the corner of one of football's most iconic grounds, it seemed the asylum of Premier League owners was finally fully booked.

Just as it had when a gaggle of Indian chicken farmers sacked one of the game's most respected managers, tried to hire Diego Maradona and buy David Beckham and Ronaldinho.

Just as it does when a silent oligarch sacks his fifth manager in seven years for the crime of going 12 months without a trophy.

Truly, the 'No Vacancies' sign has been up on the door of the Premier League madhouse for some time.

Since absentee owners saddled Manchester United with outrageous debt, since a couple of jokers made Liverpool a laughing stock, since Far Eastern fancy Dans flounced into Birmingham promising Alex McLeish £80million to spend.

And delivered sweet and sour sod all.

Briatore and Ecclestone are the smart alecs who will parade supermodels in the stand while fleecing the great unwashed

Little did we know there would be room on the funny farm for a couple more.

Step forward Flavio Briatore and Bernie Ecclestone, the shareholding geniuses who must surely have given their blessing to charge fans a minimum of £47 a throw to get into their ground.

The smart alecs who will parade supermodels in the stand while fleecing the great unwashed.

All the while, the fit and proper persons' test remains on football's statute book.

It is a complex piece of Premier League legislation but let me simplify it for you.

Got a load of dough? You're in.

And Ecclestone, Briatore and the Mittal family sure have a load of dough. Not that they look likely to spend any of it on new players. Oh no.

As Blackpool - accompanied by a nauseating cacophony of misguided romanticism - found out, you can get promoted, refuse to dig into your pockets, lick your lips at the £40m cheque from the Premier League, pocket a parachute payment... and have a damn fine chance of repeating the process all over again.

Yet these characters from the silicone world of Formula One feel free to sanction the doubling of season ticket prices at the princely palace that is Loftus Road.

"The rises are in line with other London-based Premier League clubs," said an official statement.

So. It's your first season in the top flight since 1996.

Compared, say, to the Emirates, your stadium is a bit of a dive. Your only 'star' is a Tottenham cast-off and, instead of watching a team that has been assembled for astronomical sums, the home fans will support names who are of the household variety only in their own households.

Yet you still want to have the same tariff as Arsenal, Spurs and Chelsea.

But I guess we should have expected this. After all, Ecclestone goes generally unchallenged in Formula One, where fawning rules.

Briatore, in case one should forget, had to leave Formula One because one of his drivers, Nelson Piquet Jr, claimed the perma-tanned Italian had told him to crash.

Ecclestone, meanwhile, leaves matches at half-time. To beat the traffic.

It is a wonder he doesn't deploy a safety car around Shepherds Bush.

The plan for QPR is... to make sure next season we are competitive and keep all the good players we have at the moment - Flavio Briatore

Yes, they might have zillions. But they are a couple of proprietors almost beyond parody. But at least they have achieved the extremely unlikely. No. Not taken QPR into the Premier League... but make most people have sympathy for Neil Warnock, the only man who could romp to a Championship triumph yet still lose the vote of his peers for the division's manager of the year.

Those are the same peers who are more likely to refer to him not by his name but by an anagram of it. (Google it.) Yet Warnock now has one of the most thankless tasks in football.

Warnock lost his main ally in the boardroom when vice-chairman Amit Bhatia - son-in-law of Lakshmi Mittal - resigned, saying his "vision, strategy and direction for the club is very different from that of other shareholders."

It seems Ecclestone and Briatore have no intention of selling their 67 per cent share to Mittal (a scenario most supporters would welcome) and have offered their backing to Warnock.

From Monaco last week, Briatore said: "The plan for QPR is... to make sure next season we are competitive and keep all the good players we have at the moment. The coach is now looking to set up a very good club."

Hardly a promise of transfer largesse. Indeed, informed talk has it that Warnock will be lucky to get £10million to spend. He will have to please supporters who are now feeling disenfranchised by the alarming hike in ticket prices, while all the time looking over his shoulder to see the latest Italian manager being linked with his job.

Winning the Championship without any lavish backing from the board might not have been enough for fellow managers to honour Warnock. But if he merely survives another season under these characters, he deserves a medal.

Warnock might not be the most straightforward chap around. But set against the rogues' gallery of football club owners, he looks like a saint.

[paulmason]

Qprhahahahahahahahahaha

Thanks guys.

[californiahoop]

On the money, taking Libs, I wouldn't swear Mittels would be much better.

I hope they are but, we have been here before with the knight in shining armour riding to our rescue and we all know how that turned out.

[BUSHRANGER1982]

Flav & Bernie really have made a rod for their own backs.
If, because they have witheld sufficient funding, QPR look certs for relegation next season, not only will these, errr, businessmen for want of a better word, have the fans quite rightly on their backs, but it will all be accompanied by a media well versed in crucifying individuals in the public gaze. Good.

They had better stump up whatever it takes, or else.

[Captain Planet]

What's with all the weird use of slang? 'smart alecs' 'load of dough' 'fancy Dans'

Sounds like it was written by a **** Tracy villain.

[rangerforevereastcote]

funny how we have mangaged to turn most of the media against our club, the romantic notion of rangers returning to the prem for the first time should have been enough to endear us to the the nation, sadly we have become an example of what is wrong with football in thi country at the top level

[waterbuffalo]

Very entertaining read, man he blasted us 4 ways from Sunday, still I am proud our only star is a tottenham cast off, look at all the 'stars' west ham had, you can keep it..