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A Little Joke to Cheer Us All Up.

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  • Acton Stations
    Bronze Seat
    • Feb 2017
    • 469

    #1

    A Little Joke to Cheer Us All Up.

    [Joke] When asked about his decision to award Swansea a penalty against QPR at Loftus Road last night, the referee simply replied, "I was merely thinking out of the box."
    [/Joke]

  • KLOS
    Bronze Seat
    • Apr 2011
    • 390

    #2
    excellent.

    Vincent Van Goth goes into bar in London

    Customer 'Hl Vincent, may I buy you a drink?'


    'No thanks, I have got one 'ere'

    Comment

    • Abseits
      Gold Seat
      • Aug 2014
      • 5038

      #3
      Not a joke, just a clever turn of phrase I read recently... the writer described his mate who like getting drunk and having a brawl as a " Menace to Sobriety".

      Comment

      • Acton Stations
        Bronze Seat
        • Feb 2017
        • 469

        #4
        Originally posted by KLOS
        excellent.

        Vincent Van Goth goes into bar in London

        Customer 'Hl Vincent, may I buy you a drink?'


        'No thanks, I have got one 'ere'
        Who else nose about that? Always happy to keep an eye out for jokes like that.

        Comment

        • Acton Stations
          Bronze Seat
          • Feb 2017
          • 469

          #5
          [Spam] One morning a holidaymaker was at breakfast in his four-star hotel, but to his total dismay he found that the bacon tray was empty at the buffet.

          He simply wouldn't go without his bacon, so not to be beaten, he waited patiently for what seemed to be an eternity for the tray to be filled up again.

          Suddenly, to his sheer delight, he caught sight of the chef bringing in a batch of freshly cooked bacon to refill the empty tray.

          With a sigh of relief, the holidaymaker said to the chef, "Ahhhh! The bacon's back!"

          The chef replied, "Yes that's correct sir, it is indeed Back Bacon." [/Spam].

          Comment

          • Acton Stations
            Bronze Seat
            • Feb 2017
            • 469

            #6
            Originally posted by Abseits
            Not a joke, just a clever turn of phrase I read recently... the writer described his mate who like getting drunk and having a brawl as a " Menace to Sobriety".
            I sometimes describe a football team in West London that regularly gets beaten as a "Menace to Sanity"

            Comment

            • KLOS
              Bronze Seat
              • Apr 2011
              • 390

              #7
              Who else nose about that? Acton

              Cyrano de Bergerac

              Comment

              • KLOS
                Bronze Seat
                • Apr 2011
                • 390

                #8
                Acton and Abseits,

                was it in both cases Mrs Malaprop?

                Comment

                • daveshads
                  Bronze Seat
                  • Dec 2022
                  • 647

                  #9
                  Honestly all that fuss about going around the noon. I mean, it’s not rocket science is it!!!!

                  Comment

                  • WeAreQPR12
                    C Club
                    • Mar 2009
                    • 23554

                    #10
                    I used to own a dog called Minton and he would literally eat everything, he even once ate a whole tube of Shuttlecocks and I shouted Bad Minton
                    I played sunday league football today.

                    Clearly I was the best player on the pitch.

                    I scored 5 and made 7 last ditch tackles.

                    We lost 5-0 but the rest of my team were sh it!

                    Comment

                    • Acton Stations
                      Bronze Seat
                      • Feb 2017
                      • 469

                      #11
                      Originally posted by WeAreQPR12
                      I used to own a dog called Minton and he would literally eat everything, he even once ate a whole tube of Shuttlecocks and I shouted Bad Minton
                      Not bad! Got a bit of a racket going on here now!

                      Comment

                      • Acton Stations
                        Bronze Seat
                        • Feb 2017
                        • 469

                        #12
                        If I were to name an English county that would best describe a fair number of our performances this season, it would have to be, 'Wilts.'

                        Comment

                        • eam1882
                          Silver Seat
                          • Feb 2019
                          • 1112

                          #13
                          The man who developed hard boiled eggs wrapped in sausage meat has died.
                          RIP scott chegg.

                          An Indian man has been arrested for punching his wife in the face.
                          Chinda gudunproppa has denied all charges.

                          Comment

                          • Acton Stations
                            Bronze Seat
                            • Feb 2017
                            • 469

                            #14
                            Originally posted by eam1882
                            The man who developed hard boiled eggs wrapped in sausage meat has died.
                            RIP scott chegg.

                            An Indian man has been arrested for punching his wife in the face.
                            Chinda gudunproppa has denied all charges.
                            Ironically, I've just heard that the British ex-pat who developed stuffed risotto balls in Sicily has just died laughing at your jokes. I think his name was Aaron Cheeney.
                            Premier League mate!

                            Comment

                            • SheepRanger
                              Administrator
                              • Apr 2018
                              • 8478

                              #15
                              Did you know that on Gaffer FM - the football managers radio station - the most requested track is "I don't want to go to Chelsea" by Elvis Costello.

                              Comment

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