Unconfigured Ad Widget

Collapse

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Welcome Mr Coton

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Welcome Mr Coton

    Welcome to the ‘Big Top’ I hope that you will find your short stay enjoyable.

    You will no doubt of heard of this outfit from its previous tradition and reputation as a family and fan focussed club, we are however in the midst of a rebranding exercise which has resulted in the change of the badge, mascot, season ticket prices and removal of long term loyal fans from specific areas of the South Africa Road Stand, so we can replace them with empty seats and blankets, without consultation. We have code named this exercise the Boutique!!

    Please pay close attention to the terms of condition of your employment. Do not divulge confidential information to anybody (apart from those ITK) this could result in dire consequences. Please ignore fans who only pay £20 to watch the team home and away please also ignore fans who pay £30 and above they are insignificant and do not contribute to the good ship ‘Big Top’.

    You must go a for a drink with the ITK crew after your first home game and give them details of the inside running’s and potential signings of the ‘Big Top’ (Please note that this is not classed as divulging confidential information and is totally acceptable and expected of you)

    Ensure that you read the small print of your contract. In the event that you do a poor job you will be handsomely rewarded with a long term lucrative 4 year contract payable in full during an employment period of 28 days to six months.

    In the event that you do a good job and play attractive football, please or acknowledge the fans (especially those paying 20 or 30 quid) you will find the exits to the ‘Big Top’ at the rear potentially with one of the following grounds used - breach of confidentiality, Inappropriate behaviour, mutual consent some other substantial reason. Please do not fear being sacked as the ‘Big Top’ does not sack managers or their staff; we are a caring employer who encourage the participation and input of its staff and stakeholders.

    Although your views are encouraged please ensure that you keep your views to yourself. The powers that be are not interested in the 20years plus experience that you have built up as a player and coach at places such as Man City and Man Utd as well as your experiences working with arguably the UKs most successful manager Sir Alex Ferguson.

    The reputation that you have built up during your career will be removed on your exit from the ‘Big Top’ and you will be required to sign a confidentiality pact.

    Do not recommend players who may improve the team or squad this is the role of the DoF. Please also ensure that your mobile phone is charged during match periods; it must be answered within three rings should it go to the answer phone during a match period please note again that the exits are at the rear.

    I hope you enjoy your short stay at the ‘Big Top’ in the event that you have exited your post prior to me posting this can I thank you for your efforts and wish you the best of luck in whatever path your career takes you.


    Disillusioned fan of 20+years :very_sad:

  • #2
    Brilliant!

    Comment


    • #3
      Its a shame it has come to this point

      Comment


      • #4
        funny

        Comment

        Working...
        X