The most bizarre and unsuccessful QPR signings of the last decade
By thegodfather

The transfer window. Rumours fill the Internet message boards. Fans log on to the official website, spending hours frantically hitting the ‘F5’ button on their computer keyboards. There really is no other time like it in the world of football. Amidst speculation of Serie B strikers and Czech goalkeepers joining the Rs for the 2009/010 season, I feel that now is the time to reflect on the most bizarre and unsuccessful signings that QPR managers have made over the last decade or so. Be warned - this article may well evoke memories of dire Rangers football from previous seasons, so if you are prone to nightmares, it might be best not to read on.

Doudou

After the Rs were relegated to the third tier of English football in 2001, Ian Holloway felt that he needed someone with that magic touch. Someone who could beat opposing defenders with a sublime piece of skill. Someone who could change a match with a single kick of the ball. That man, “Ollie” believed, was Aziana Ebele Mbombo – or Doudou, for short. The French forward signed for the Rs before the 2001/02 season in a move financed by two Queens Park Rangers fans. With astonishing comparisons to the great Thierry Henry in articles on the official website, supporters began to get excited about the diminutive winger. It didn’t last. At first Doudou caused Second Division (or League One as it is now called) teams some problems but as soon as he came up against big, physical defenders, he simply couldn’t cope. Quite frankly, it was embarrassing to see him shoved and shirt-pulled off the ball with such ease. The Frenchman eventually left the Rs in 2003, never to be heard of again.

Brett Angell

Angell must surely hold the record for being the slowest player ever to wear the famous blue and white Hoops. Frankly, he lacked so much pace that part of me thought that he was engaging in some sort of bizarre ploy to lure the opposition into a false sense of security. If it was deliberate, the “tactic” certainly wasn’t very effective. Holloway signed Angell from Port Vale in 2002. Now, it must be remembered that he was a decent striker early on in his career and “Ollie” probably thought that he was the experienced goalscorer Rangers needed. Things just didn’t work out though and in thirteen appearances, Angell failed to hit the net. Even the man himself must have realised that he was no longer good enough, as he retired shortly after his brief spell at Loftus Road. Ironically, the former striker now commentates on BBC London, and can often be heard complaining about a lack of movement from Championship forwards.

Eric Sabin

This was arguably Ian Holloway’s worst signing as manager of QPR. For reasons known only to “Ollie” himself, Rangers secured the services of striker, Eric Sabin, from Swindon Town before the start of the 2003/04 season. His record at Swindon was hardly inspiring – 9 goals in 73 matches – and many supporters were puzzled as to what positive qualities Holloway had seen in the player. Unfortunately it soon became clear that Mr Sabin clearly wasn’t up to it, lacking the ability to head the ball and having a terrible first touch. He did, however, manage one goal in a hooped shirt, which I am sure Rangers fans will remember fondly. It was a cold, wet day up at Grimsby Town and with the score at 0-0, the Rs were pushing for a winner. With one minute to go, the ball was bobbling about the Grimsby penalty area when it fell to Sabin, just a few yards out from goal, who tapped it into the net, sending the travelling faithful into wild celebration. Ask any QPR fan about Sabin and they will probably refer to that day at Grimsby. Now 34 years of age, the former Hoops striker plays for French team, Nimes Olimpique.

Dean Sturridge

Looking back, it’s incredible really that Dean Sturridge managed to pass his medical when he signed for QPR in 2005. Even Matthew Rose would have to hold his hands up and admit that the striker is the undisputed record-holder for the most injuries sustained during a Rangers career. Sturridge only managed 11 appearances for the Hoops, failing to find the net. He left the Rs in 2006 and retired soon afterwards.

Stefan Moore

Perhaps one of the most unpopular QPR players of the last decade, Moore joined Rangers from Aston Villa in 2005. According to the club, fans could expect to see a player of Premiership quality. In reality, what they saw of Stefan was more like League Two standard. In his first season with the Rs, Moore’s lack of both desire and passion meant that he did not make any sort of an impact at Loftus Road. He improved slightly when John Gregory replaced Gary Waddock as manager and even fought his way into the starting line-up at one point, but he was still far from being good enough to impress the supporters. When the club finally released him in 2008, his record stood at 3 goals in 39 appearances. Shockingly bad for a striker.

Armel Tchakounte

This was a completely bizarre signing made by Gary Waddock before the start of the 2006/07 season. The club announced on the official website that Tchakounte was a Cameroonian international footballer, despite records suggesting that he had never represented his country. At the time it did seem highly unlikely that someone who had been playing for Carshalton in the previous campaign would be an international footballer. Quite why this ridiculous statement was published on the official website, we will never know. What made the signing even more bizarre was that Armel never played for QPR. According to the club, he had suffered a mysterious injury, which had kept him out all season. The Cameroonian was eventually released in 2007.

Egutu Oliseh

Another bizarre Waddock signing, Oliseh joined the Rs just before the start of the 2006/07 season. The Nigerian winger made two appearances for QPR, one against Plymouth and the other against Birmingham. Strangely enough, I remember being very impressed by him during the 2-0 loss to the Blues. He was fast, skilful, good on the ball and he caused Birmingham a lot of problems that night. When John Gregory became the new boss though, he didn’t seem to rate Oliseh and the midfielder was released shortly afterwards.

Nick Ward

Much excitement surrounded the signing of Nick Ward in 2006. Reportedly on the FIFA “Ones to Watch” list (I wonder if he has been crossed off after his disastrous spell with QPR), Ward was expected to be an important part of the Rangers team during the 06/07 season. However, the Australian failed to live up to the expectations of the fans. When John Gregory replaced Waddock, the new boss wasn’t happy with the performances of young Nick and he was confined to the substitutes’ bench. The highlight of Ward’s QPR career was providing the cross for the talented Ray Jones to score the winner against Cardiff City in a televised Friday night encounter at Ninian Park. Despite this, Ward continued to be left out of the team and spent time out on loan with Brighton and Hove Albion. He eventually returned to Australia in late 2007.

Zesh Rehman

Another one of Waddock’s signings, Zesh actually performed very well on his debut against Southend United. I remember praising him after the game for his commanding and organising of the back four and saying that he could turn out to be an excellent player. How wrong was I? Things just went from bad to worse for poor Rehman. There was no question that he gave 100%, but unfortunately he was just not quite good enough to play in the Championship. When Gregory was appointed as the new manager, he was dropped to the substitutes’ bench, but still managed to score the odd incredible own-goal (the disaster at Luton in the FA Cup springs to mind). To be fair to the former Fulham defender, he did improve during Luigi De Canio’s tenure, even putting in some solid performances at right-back. Unfortunately for the Pakistan international, he didn’t improve enough and he was released at the end of last season. He has recently signed a two-year deal with Bradford City and I think he could fare better in League Two. I wish the best of luck to him.

Gary Borrowdale

“The Invisible Man”, as he has been nicknamed by Queens Park Rangers fans, signed for the Rs in January 2009 and has yet to make an appearance in a competitive league fixture. The former Crystal Palace man was given a start against Aldershot last Saturday, which perhaps indicates that Magilton is willing to give him an opportunity next season. We shall have to wait and see what happens.

Conclusion

Just looking through that list of players (with the exception of Borrowdale) takes me back to the dark days of Queens Park Rangers. I think it just shows how far we have come as a club. A few years ago we would have been absolutely delighted to have the likes of Mahon, Agyemang and Ramage in our side – players that are now regularly criticised by Rangers supporters.