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Thread: Joke of the day

  1. #31

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    Paddys wife hears a knock at the door. When she opens it a policeman is standing there.
    "Sorry Mrs O'Reiley, there was an awful accident at the distillery today, where your husband worked. He fell into a vat of whiskey and drowned"
    "Sweet Jesus" she cried "Please god it was a relatively quick death"
    "By all accounts it took quite a while" said the policeman.
    "He got out at least twice for a pi ss"
    He'll regret it till his dying day, if ever he lives that long

  2. #32

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    my mate paddy always wears 2 condoms , i asked him why . he replied " to be sure to be sure"

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    It's my wife's birthday today. She asked for something when she takes a bath.
    I got her a toaster...

  4. #34

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    Patient "Doc, I keep singing the green green grass of home"
    Doctor "You have Tom Jones syndrome"
    Patient" Is it common"
    Doctor "It's not unusual"
    He'll regret it till his dying day, if ever he lives that long

  5. Default

    Patient: Doctor, my c*nt smells of coconut.
    Doctor: Well, its bounty.

  6. Default

    Originally Posted by Itsonlyagame
    Patient "Doc, I keep singing the green green grass of home"
    Doctor "You have Tom Jones syndrome"
    Patient" Is it common"
    Doctor "It's not unusual"
    Dreadful!
    I played sunday league football today.

    Clearly I was the best player on the pitch.

    I scored 5 and made 7 last ditch tackles.

    We lost 5-0 but the rest of my team were sh it!

  7. #37

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    Originally Posted by WeAreQPR12
    Dreadful!
    i know what you mean but tickled me all the same
    He'll regret it till his dying day, if ever he lives that long

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