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  • my mate paddy always wears 2 condoms , i asked him why . he replied " to be sure to be sure"

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    • It's my wife's birthday today. She asked for something when she takes a bath.
      I got her a toaster...

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      • Patient "Doc, I keep singing the green green grass of home"
        Doctor "You have Tom Jones syndrome"
        Patient" Is it common"
        Doctor "It's not unusual"
        He'll regret it till his dying day, if ever he lives that long

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        • Patient: Doctor, my c*nt smells of coconut.
          Doctor: Well, its bounty.

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          • Originally posted by Itsonlyagame View Post
            Patient "Doc, I keep singing the green green grass of home"
            Doctor "You have Tom Jones syndrome"
            Patient" Is it common"
            Doctor "It's not unusual"
            Dreadful!
            I played sunday league football today.

            Clearly I was the best player on the pitch.

            I scored 5 and made 7 last ditch tackles.

            We lost 5-0 but the rest of my team were sh it!

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            • Originally posted by WeAreQPR12 View Post
              Dreadful!
              i know what you mean but tickled me all the same
              He'll regret it till his dying day, if ever he lives that long

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              • My wife walked in on me having sex with our daughter and was horrified.

                She didn't know what was worse, the fact I was having sex with our daughter, or the fact the hospital let me take the fetus home.

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                • I ran into lesbian twin sisters today. Actually I'm not sure if they were twins, but they definitely lick alike.

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                  • Originally posted by Ramsgate Hoop View Post
                    My wife walked in on me having sex with our daughter and was horrified.

                    She didn't know what was worse, the fact I was having sex with our daughter, or the fact the hospital let me take the fetus home.
                    That is plain wrong, but funny all the same.
                    He'll regret it till his dying day, if ever he lives that long

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